prince_of_beasts (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
prince_of_beasts) wrote2022-06-27 03:17 pm
prince_of_beasts) wrote2022-06-27 03:17 pm
[come_sailaway inbox]
A synthesized woman's voice picks up the call.
"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Two - Zero - Two - Nine - One - Eight - Two - One - Three - Two -- is not available now. At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press the # key for more options."
Dimitri hasn't figured out how to customize the thing yet.
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Your cabin? Mine? Somewhere else?
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True to his word, a few minutes later Dimitri trots up to Dedue's cabin.
"Is something wrong?"
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"Erin was explaining the concept of psychosis. I had also heard this term once before from Sharky, in passing. Have you heard of it?"
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“I do not wish to divulge more of what she told me, as it is personal. But I think you would benefit from speaking with her about it.”
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"Darcy and I have spoken about it a little, but not by that name," he says. He inclines his head, his expression reserved, quiet. "You think it applies to me."
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“I have watched you struggle with visions and voices for a long time. Even if it ultimately is not accurate, there has been more research done on other worlds than on our own. Learning more about it could help you. And knowing there are others who have struggled similarly.”
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A cultural obsession with debt and duty, arm in arm with a rich folklore about the restless dead, while natural disasters and a martial habit create those dead en masse.
"You may be right," Dimitri concedes. "But I'd rather not go to Erin, at least not first. She gets ... pedagogic in a way I don't care for. Especially not about this."
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“When I asked her questions about it, she lectured me not to take the medicine from the infirmary without consulting one of the doctors.”
He rolls his eyes. “Because I am so known for impulsively stealing important medicine and ingesting it.”
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He won't deny that other worlds have better medicine, more elaborate technologies. But it is irritating to have his own understanding of the world -- of his world -- dismissed, just because it's incomplete. More so the way some people from those other worlds fail to imagine that Dimitri might have his own understanding of the world, that he's not some hollow-eyed vessel waiting to have their enlightenment poured into him.
"She went through this whole ... pageant, with me, saying she'd ask me a hard question and that I should wait for the duration of a timer before answering -- only for it to be a question I've already spent much time dwelling on. I did tell her off for it, but who knows if that made any difference."
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At Dimitri’s story, he gives a genuine laugh, holding his hand to his mouth. “I can imagine her doing that. I am glad you said something.”
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"Perhaps she'll take it to heart. Only time will tell." He scrunches his nose. "I see now why Darcy takes such issue with her."
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“That would be a mistake on Erin’s part. Darcy is an highly insightful person. And she does not enjoy condescension.”
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His gaze drifts through the floor, into thought. The dead haven't commented thus far, though he's expected them to. They remain silent.
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cw internalized ablism
"I don't know. What it might mean, I suppose, if ... the way I am ... is a condition medicine can treat."
He's not unfamiliar with the idea. Fódlan has its herbal medicines: tinctures of poppy, various teas, careful dosages of certain mushrooms -- but they're crude, the psychiatric equivalent of attempting surgery with a shovel. Hauntings like Dimitri's are generally prescribed a sedative for dreamless sleep, and everything else left to sort itself out.
"I know I'm mad. But if there's medicine that can silence them ... I really am just insane."