[come_sailaway inbox]

[prince_of_beasts]

A synthesized woman's voice picks up the call.

"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Two - Zero - Two - Nine - One - Eight - Two - One - Three - Two -- is not available now. At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press the # key for more options."

Dimitri hasn't figured out how to customize the thing yet.

Comments

[glassaxolotl]

My cabin is free at the moment.

[prince_of_beasts]

I'll be there shortly.

True to his word, a few minutes later Dimitri trots up to Dedue's cabin.

"Is something wrong?"

[glassaxolotl]

"Nothing is wrong," Dedue assures him.

"Erin was explaining the concept of psychosis. I had also heard this term once before from Sharky, in passing. Have you heard of it?"

[prince_of_beasts]

"It doesn't sound familiar, no."

[glassaxolotl]

“It can differ for different people. But it means that the individual sees or hears things that are not there. Or, as Erin said, they ‘perceive reality in an unreal way.’ She also said that it is manageable with modern medicine that is available on the ship,” he explains.

“I do not wish to divulge more of what she told me, as it is personal. But I think you would benefit from speaking with her about it.”

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri glances at the door, reflexively checking that it's closed, then leans against the arm of the couch.

"Darcy and I have spoken about it a little, but not by that name," he says. He inclines his head, his expression reserved, quiet. "You think it applies to me."

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue’s tone is measured, like he is thinking carefully about his words as he speaks.

“I have watched you struggle with visions and voices for a long time. Even if it ultimately is not accurate, there has been more research done on other worlds than on our own. Learning more about it could help you. And knowing there are others who have struggled similarly.”

[prince_of_beasts]

"I'm not the only Faerghan to be haunted. It's not quite common, but ... well, you know what we're like."

A cultural obsession with debt and duty, arm in arm with a rich folklore about the restless dead, while natural disasters and a martial habit create those dead en masse.

"You may be right," Dimitri concedes. "But I'd rather not go to Erin, at least not first. She gets ... pedagogic in a way I don't care for. Especially not about this."

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue sighs at that. “She does,” he admits.
“When I asked her questions about it, she lectured me not to take the medicine from the infirmary without consulting one of the doctors.”
He rolls his eyes. “Because I am so known for impulsively stealing important medicine and ingesting it.”

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri snorts. "Clearly, because our world lacks electricity and antibiotics," and he's still not convinced about the 'germ' thing, "we all live like dogs, squatting naked in open holes in the ground, liable to put anything in our mouths."

He won't deny that other worlds have better medicine, more elaborate technologies. But it is irritating to have his own understanding of the world -- of his world -- dismissed, just because it's incomplete. More so the way some people from those other worlds fail to imagine that Dimitri might have his own understanding of the world, that he's not some hollow-eyed vessel waiting to have their enlightenment poured into him.

"She went through this whole ... pageant, with me, saying she'd ask me a hard question and that I should wait for the duration of a timer before answering -- only for it to be a question I've already spent much time dwelling on. I did tell her off for it, but who knows if that made any difference."

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue snorts at that. He also definitely has felt a bit condescended to by some of the passengers who claim to be from more “advanced” worlds. As if the changing of civilizations over time will always look exactly the same, no matter the world or the cultures within it.

At Dimitri’s story, he gives a genuine laugh, holding his hand to his mouth. “I can imagine her doing that. I am glad you said something.”

[prince_of_beasts]

Dedue's laughter always does something to Dimitri, doubly so when it's in response to something he's done. Something bubbly and comfortable in the pit of his chest, like a warm drink held close on a winter's day. Safe.

"Perhaps she'll take it to heart. Only time will tell." He scrunches his nose. "I see now why Darcy takes such issue with her."

[glassaxolotl]

“Darcy does seem like the type that Erin would underestimate the intelligence of,” Dedue agrees.
“That would be a mistake on Erin’s part. Darcy is an highly insightful person. And she does not enjoy condescension.”

[prince_of_beasts]

"Certainly not." Dimitri sighs. "I will speak to her -- Darcy -- about this 'psychosis', if you think it's worth pursuing. I don't suppose Erin mentioned anyone else?"

[glassaxolotl]

“She suggested that Doctors Watson or Tendi may have more information. Other than that, no.”

[prince_of_beasts]

"Watson's a good man. Tendi I've only met briefly, but she seems capable and well-intentioned. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

His gaze drifts through the floor, into thought. The dead haven't commented thus far, though he's expected them to. They remain silent.

[glassaxolotl]

Dedue sits for a moment, letting the silence wash over them both. Then, he asks, “If I may, what are you thinking about right now?”

cw internalized ablism

[prince_of_beasts]

Dimitri shakes his head slowly. He needs a while to put the words together.

"I don't know. What it might mean, I suppose, if ... the way I am ... is a condition medicine can treat."

He's not unfamiliar with the idea. Fódlan has its herbal medicines: tinctures of poppy, various teas, careful dosages of certain mushrooms -- but they're crude, the psychiatric equivalent of attempting surgery with a shovel. Hauntings like Dimitri's are generally prescribed a sedative for dreamless sleep, and everything else left to sort itself out.

"I know I'm mad. But if there's medicine that can silence them ... I really am just insane."