[come_sailaway inbox]

[prince_of_beasts]

A synthesized woman's voice picks up the call.

"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Two - Zero - Two - Nine - One - Eight - Two - One - Three - Two -- is not available now. At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press the # key for more options."

Dimitri hasn't figured out how to customize the thing yet.

Comments

[saltwaterlungs]

Darcy silently walks in, faceplants on the couch, and screams.

[prince_of_beasts]

Um.

That wasn't a scream of pain. (Not physical pain, at any rate.) Dimitri shuts the door carefully, double-checks that it's locked, then takes a perch on the arm of the couch.

"What's the Captain done now?"

[saltwaterlungs]

"Not the Captain," he answers, muffled by the couch.

"Ruined my own life. Coat me in clearance tags and throw me to the Bahamanals."

[prince_of_beasts]

"I'm going to pat your shoulder," Dimitri announces, since Darcy won't be able to see him move. He leans down. Pat pat. "I won't throw you to the Bahamanals. What happened?"

[saltwaterlungs]

Another low muffled scream. He isn't lifting his head.

"Fucked things with Helena. Ruined my own life. Literally I just want to curl up and die."

[prince_of_beasts]

"I genuinely do not think it is possible to ruin things with Helena. If it was, I would have managed it by now."

[saltwaterlungs]

Lifts his head up, "have you ever came on way too strong and said you loved her?"

Head back down. Screams again.

[prince_of_beasts]

Blink.

"Why on Earth would that be a bad thing."

[saltwaterlungs]

"... because that's insanely embarrassing and humiliating and she's going to hate me forever?"

[prince_of_beasts]

...

... nope, Dimitri still doesn't get it.

"Why would she hate you for admitting you care for her?"

[saltwaterlungs]

"Because that's weird if she doesn't feel the same way and she's going to tell people and-" wheezing breath- "God-"

[prince_of_beasts]

Ah.

Dimitri still doesn't really understand, but he knows the sound of someone whose mind is escaping them. He leans down and squeezes Darcy's shoulder. His voice is firmer, reassuring, finding some of the old House leader stability.

"I don't think Helena would tell anyone. She's considerate to a fault."

[saltwaterlungs]

"She's still going to think it's weird," Darcy sniffles.

"And I know that- that's why she like-" sniff- "she said she 'needed time to think about it' which is basically a death sentence. She's not going to even want to talk to me, she'll just- ughhhhhhhhhhh, what's wrong with me-"

[prince_of_beasts]

"Darcy. Can you take a deep breath?"

[saltwaterlungs]

"No," he answers automatically.

Which isn't strictly speaking true, because a second or two later he painstakingly sucks in a breath like blowing bubbles in tar through a straw.

Which he chokes on, sputtering into more sobs.

Sorry, Mitri, you might need to let him ride this one out a bit.

1/2

[prince_of_beasts]

Well, that's it. Dimitri's exhausted his skillset. For all that he'll insist emotions don't have to make sense, and they don't need to be fixed, he's not actually any good at helping with problems that don't respond to solving.

The arm of the couch creaks as Dimitri gets up.

2/2

[prince_of_beasts]

A drawer opens. Fabric shuffles. A few moments later, a much softer patapat precedes a solid fifteen pounds of housecat stepping onto Darcy's shoulders, where he settles into a loaf and begins to purr.

[saltwaterlungs]

The sudden weight on his shoulders causes Darcy to jolt just a little, but he quickly identifies what on earth could be curling up on him and relaxes. Just Dimitri. As a cat.

"God- okay- I'm going to turn over so I can pet you, okay?"

He sniffs again, then slowly shifts over onto his back, giving Dimitri enough time to settle himself on his stomach or chest.

"You're really soft."

[prince_of_beasts]

Oops. Human Dimitri would have given Darcy some warning; the cat brain didn't think of it.

"I know," he says smugly. Ship translation means he can 'talk' without interrupting his purring. " ... does this help?"

[saltwaterlungs]

"It does," even if honestly it would be better if he wasn't talking right now. Makes him feel weird. Still, Darcy does his best to do that slightly hesitant 'wasn't raised around animals' head to tail pet, using his other hand to rub a little at his face. God, Dimitri is a huge cat. The strays he'd see occasionally on the street weren't this big. It's nice to have something else to focus on aside from the idea of his world collapsing again.

"Scale of one to ten, how weird is it if I just put my face in your fur."